turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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