i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
