He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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