I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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