Tell her she can't have a vagina
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
i think i just lost a toe
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
