Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
