you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
We have so much sex to catch up on
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize