i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
you traded sex for a burrito?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you win again, gameday.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
