This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
