I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
