he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
