I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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