I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I touched a dick in church today
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
