Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Banned from zoo.
Again?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Randomize
