Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Randomize
