just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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