That's intense
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
