it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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