I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
