And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
