so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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