I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
