Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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