is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
