Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
