she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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