I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i came on her dog
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
