if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
