It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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