You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
