goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
