i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
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