Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
