we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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