guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
