Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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