Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
