Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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