Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
