tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
