i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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