I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
North Korea, Best Korea!
the condom got lost in my hair
You smell like stripper and shame
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
