the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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