That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
