But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
