I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
