White coat. Heels.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
