I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
