So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
