I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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