I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
They took my balls.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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