You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
