she takes plan B like it's going out of style
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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