The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
