She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
